Monday, 31 August, 2009

How i kept up my faith when I knew it is to worsen!

Life revolves around family, friends, college, and more Fun..
A person who never cared for anything that could have happened!
A happy go lucky person by nature,..but cannot take a NO for an answer..
Learnt at a young age about how people and the world around you needed the positive
Saw the family who believed in helping the people doing things selflessly!
I thank my family for having me given the opportunity to fight my ways everytime..

A day never passed when i dint do something creative..till the time i felt I did it!
A go getter and a motivator..i held up a lot of things that came on my way..
Loved the subjects i studied and gave myself totally to what i did..
the passion.. the zeal.. the fire that i did everything was appreciated and gave light to things which were dark.
Just a day before the last day of college.. a day before the last exam of the subject i wanted to further study..
I was in the hospital.. getting a biopsy done..for the disease which is auto immune by nature and a disease which is not energy left in me..
Everyone thought and said leave the exam..i was determined to go to the UK and pursue my Dream.
A dream which i had seen for 3 years, a dream which everyone in my family had dreamt!
I wanted to complete the exam that was left..with droopy eyes and with no energy to write..
I gave the exam and went back home.. did not attend the calls nor respond to the SMS's
was just wondering was life really going to end?

Remembered what i was told a few years never quit and quitters never win..
I knew i could not pursue my dream..i was broken..many restrictions i have..
Many medications i take..things weaken me.. but my spirit and will is strong..
I shook myself and promised..never will i weaken my will..until i say a good bye.
I will survive till the time i bid adeau..i am here to accomplish my goal..
A goal which i decide everyday of my life!

I am glad to have taken such steps..and thankfull to my family who have held me at every weak moment!
Believed in me..and had the faith..i am here to be the best i can.


Sunday, 30 August, 2009

Movies and Books - Cut!

Read a lot of books, watched a lot of movies..cried at the twist and turns that happen!
Looked at the clothes..felt a little tempted to buy them.looked at the location.
Got a little dream of going and putting up there! The high heals and the dance moves..
The lights and the cars.. the roads and the hills... i dream a dream which i would like to be..
It changes..every book i read .. every movie i watch i see a little me that i wanna be..
It teaches me a lot.. i value the openness that films have got..
The dialogues and the songs. the emotions and the drama..
Its all true that happens with all of us!

When i read a book.. i thought it was funny to feel that way..
when i was in the same mood.. i behaved the same funny way...
life is all written like a book.. we just play the parts that we have been made for..

We meet a few we leave a few.. because we have to learn from what happens to us..
Be ready for the next.. its alwyas going to be fun.. when you look back and say!
God! Did i have nothing else to do? Did i just ract that way!
So let everything go just the way it is..dont fight for things that are not happening.
Its best to be like the water which is forever flowing!

Thursday, 20 August, 2009

Transition from Happy to Where is Happiness state!

Once upon a time...when i was a little girl.. just a few months old..
Things were just about ME...what i liked others did.. what i wanted others did..
No one actually minded when they did things for little me..

It was a state where i dint know what being happy or sad is!
Parents, relatives and neighbours what i did.. what they could do for little me!

I cried.. they all came to me and gave all that they could find to make me Smile..
they coochi coed me,.. they hugged me.. they loved me even when i gave them sleepless nights!
all i did was cry and smile..for everthing that i needed i had it all..

I grew up a little..i learnt to speak..i tried to immitate what i saw around me..
Did the same,spoke the same.. but still people said.. this is wrong!

I got confused as to why was it wrong when i heard from people around!
people said wrong and right which was all copied from them..

i started crying as they said i was wrong as till then nothing i did was measured..

Little later when i started to crawl.. i saw a boy and started to follow when he called..
I liked the lollipop which he showed me.. they stopped me.. picked me up in their arms..

Showing me the wicked eyes,.. they said.. baby this is wrong..dont trust a person or go out!!
This also took the freedom off going my way....this takes away a bit of happiness in me again.

I look at the bed and say a small prayer..god is this how happiness goes away!
dreams that i had the next day...God said.. live the life you want to live..

Rules are made by them.. not by Me..Follow your heart and trust thy self..
happiness is what you love to be and not what you are made by other there!

So now i realize why we are born happy and slowly happiness moves away...:)

Do what your heart says and this will never let a day be unhappy for you!

Saturday, 15 August, 2009

How would it be!

A house which is between the lake.. a living which i can only just imagine about...
A cat which is just too soft like a bundle of cotton.. walks around the house..
I lay there and play with the water which keeps flowing..
Trying to see understand what i actually want to do with me..
A question arose as to what will i be after a 5 years from now?
I look at the clouds and i see an image of myself..
An image which shook me and when i look back at the water..
I just realize that its just going to be what i imagine and think of myself to be!

The water which flows all the time.. my thoughts are the same..
The thoughts which i make the thoughts which will make me!

Never did i realize of myself as the water which flows.. i will keep flowing..
As there is noway i can be at the same place where i am.. my thoughts have moved..
And so have I.. i am the same.. witha new experience.. which makes me just better!

I will survive with the best in me.. will try to make this life the best i could ever live!

I get the opportunity to knwo myself.. like the flowing river i will keep moving!

I look up again and see myself as the person i wished to be..
A person who is smiling all the while! The life which i will always want to live like!